I view human personality similar to computer code. 

You’re personality is written by your genes, your experiences, and your attitudes. You have personality flaws that expose themselves by “breaking” your expected/desired action.

Therefore your job is to identify bugs in your code, and fix them. Only problem is, you have to examine the root cause in order to fix the problem, I haven’t been doing that properly.

It’s often easy to say “I reacted poorly here, don’t do that again” — but it’s required to explore your motivations for your reaction and examine whether you want to change those or not.

The main issue comes from combating internal motivations, when something you want to do is forcing an action that screws up something else you want to do. Discovering this is important, because without it you won’t be able to prioritize in the moment.

Ask a question of yourself just before you take an action: “is this something I want to do?”  But that only helps you align your external actions to a internal desire.

It’s far better to ask yourself something that stops you from negatively impacting other internal desires.

Here’s a suggestion: “what is the worst regret this could make me have?”  This will highlight the competing internal desires that could be affected and you can then prioritize effectively.

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